Why Did I Break Up With My Girlfriend? I Want My Girlfriend Back!

in Break-up

I work with young people a great deal in a counseling capacity. And even though I thought I had heard it all, I am still be surprised when a young man comes to me and asks: "Why did I break up with my girlfriend? Please help me! I want my girlfriend back!" Why am I surprised? Because I often find out that he was the one that broke up with her! Now he has a change of heart and wants her back. Repairing the relationship after a break up is not always easy. So first he must consider if he made the right decision. I always ask: "Why did you break up with her?"

You may be shocked to hear some of the reasons I have been given.

  • I hate it when she wears her hair up.
  • Her mother leaves me cold.
  • I met a new waitress at Hooters.
  • I can't stand the way she eats spaghetti.

I'm no fool. I know a guy can be a sucker when a pretty girl flirts with him. And I have heard the old wives tale that a girl will turn into her mother. But come on! The way she eats spaghetti? Wearing her hair up? My suggestion is always the same: Make a list! List the positives and negatives. The pluses and the minuses. (By the way - it is better to do this before you break up with her!)

The Positives
On one side of the list put all the things you like about her.
Is she interesting? Does she make you laugh? Is she supportive? Encouraging? Is she unselfish? Does she care about you? Look after you? Show an interest in you? Are you attracted to her?
List all the things you find appealing about her and that you miss.

The Negatives
Now do the other side of the list, but be realistic!
If you put down she nags you - is it because you still don't put down the toilet seat after she has asked you 100 times? If you feel she is not affectionate enough - is that really true, or are your expectations too great? Of course there will be things about her you won't like. Just as long as you are being realistic and not stupid.

Making a list may seem like a cold thing to do. In fact I think there was even a movie plot once where the girl found the guy's list. It wasn't pretty. So the lesson learned? Don't show her the list. Don't even tell her about the list! After all, she hasn't told you about hers!

You Have the List - Now What?
After breaking up it is normal to feel lonely. When you are lonely you may regret your decision, and ask yourself why you broke up with her. You may even decide that you want you girlfriend back.

Step away for a moment. Look at your list. Your list will help you clarify in your mind if your decision was right or wrong. Your next actions should be based on this understanding. Being lonely is NOT a reason to get back together with someone that doesn't make you happy. It is not a reason to repair a broken relationship.

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Brad Nobleman has 1 articles online

Some other good points are discussed at http://repairtherelationship.info, and I encourage you to read them carefully. If you realize you made the wrong decision - you need to act FAST! A good partner is a rare find. If she has shown you that she will be faithful, encouraging, and will stick by you, then you need to take the steps to get her back.

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Why Did I Break Up With My Girlfriend? I Want My Girlfriend Back!

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  • comment_image

    so true- 2011/01/06 23:10:38 pm

    thats a good point i was feeling really lonely after brakin up with my exe and that made me want her back but i will resist :) becuase i know its not her i want its the company

This article was published on 2010/03/29
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